Our heroine in Part One of the Muslim Romance Trilogy—The Year I Learned to Text; Why Am I Having Sex with a Muslim in My Basement?—actress/comedian/realtor Julie, returns and is now sixty-two. Her Marriage-Islam-Style husband Ali is forty, the age he professes when all philandering, womanizing, and carousing bad little Muslim boys grow up. Her chemical addiction to the black-eyed, always-tardy Persian prince remains insatiable, as her two loyal dogs and one opinionated cat watch it all go down. When the honeymooners' salacious pillow talk turns to Taliban training camps, dropping walls on homosexuals, and killing Republican presidents, conservative Julie must choose between love of country and the greatest physical and spiritual connection she has ever known.